Give and take

In her book Unlock the Entrepreneur Within, IFA member Melanie Coey discusses how you should approach being mentored to drive your success; and the role that our adviser audience can take as the mentor.

Melanie Coey
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December 15, 2022
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3 minute read

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Do you have the desire to be successful, but no idea where to begin? Are you new to starting a business? Do you not have anyone to call on for advice or support? Do you feel alone? If you look online for support, you are likely to see the word ‘mentor’ come up time and time again. But what exactly is a mentor and how can they help?

A good mentor will get you to your goal as quickly as is viably possible. They will hold you accountable at each step of your journey and will help you when you feel stuck, scared to move forward or overwhelmed. Your mentor will draw up your roadmap to success and support you on that journey. When necessary, if they can’t help you solve your problem themselves, they will introduce you to people in their network who can.

The truth is, we all have the tools within ourselves to go all the way on our journey to success. These tools allow us to get to know ourselves at a deep level, which is essential as we navigate each dilemma we face, but without the support of a mentor to guide us through the rocky road, we can become derailed. The issues that arise may then seem so overwhelming and big that we retreat into the safety of our comfort zone.

Moving forward with a mentor

Making a decision, even if it’s the wrong one, still moves you forward. You can course-correct at any point; the key is to decide to doit quickly without any negative self-talk. Sometimes, you may feel uncomfortable about deciding until you have more information. A little research is no bad thing at all, but it can easily lead to an information overload and leave you with too muchto consider and no idea which way to turn.

The likely outcome is that you will remain static, moving neither forward nor backwards. What you need now is advice from a mentor who will push you out of your comfort zone. Always do something rather than nothing. Even a wrong decision is at least a decision in some shape or form, and it gets you moving. Constant movement creates energy, which is where ideas are born. Ideas fire up the excitement in your belly.Goals can take weeks, months or even years to complete. If you engage a mentor, though, you will achieve your goals faster than those who do not. An accountability partner checks in on your progress; if you do not meet a deadline or milestone, they will encourage you to keep going. They keep you on track and digging deep, even when you feel that everything is against you. When you do get stuck, they will help you break down the obstacle until you can move through to the next stage.

A good mentor will ask you to select a goal that you are passionate about and follow your heart to decide on it. You use your head to set and take action steps towards your goal, but always allow your heart to choose the goal. Ideally, your mentor will help you to put an approximate timeframe on achieving your goal. If you do not, you will almost certainly drift and lose momentum and give up before your idea has begun to take shape. When you’re choosing a goal, choose a big one for maximum growth. If it’s one you have already achieved or can achieve easily, you won’t get excited about it. The energy you drive towards the goal will be small, so achieving it won’t count as development. You want to choose a goal that really scares you; one that makes you think you are crazy for even attempting it; one that you have no idea how to get. Close friends and family may comment on how ridiculous it is, which is when you know you are on the right path.

You’ll know in your heart why you want it, but will probably have no idea how to get there. Focus on that goal so your awareness rises. Before long, you will see hints and signs everywhere that you can follow to move in the direction of your goal.

Achieve that first goal

Moving towards a goal may feel like the scariest thing you have ever done. You may even feel physically sick the first time you do it because you have never experienced such fear before. Don’t worry; that’s normal and the process will be much less daunting thereafter. When you repeat it several times, you’ll come to understand your emotions
better and better.

Once you have achieved your goal, you can analyse the process. This is where you’ll understand that the growth within yourself came not in achieving the goal, but in working towards it. The steps you took along the way introduced you to experiences you would never otherwise have had. You’re likely to feel differently within and about yourself, proud of yourself, maybe realising you are a stronger person than you gave yourself credit for. Once you know what you are capable of, you can do anything you put your mind to. With the right support, there are no bounds to what you can achieve.